Saturday, 05 July 2008
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People Pleasing..aha moment and ramblings...
People Pleasing has always been the one thing in my spiritual life that I've always struggled with. In fact if they were giving out degrees for the master of people pleasing I would be at the top of my class. I know all the right times to leave a room, I know all the right words to say, and when things turn tense I feel the need to be funny.
Wow... I'm about to do a 180 here folks...
I do believe the two posts have created a AHA moment for me. Like most of you have posted it boils down to vulnerability. A few of the comments I read really hit the nail on the head, I have a hard time letting people in. It’s easier to make a joke, or say the right things then it is to open up to people. I've been a Christian for 11 years and only a select few have been able to crack the code. Its takes someone months of hang out time, and conversations in order for me to even open up a little.
Maybe its that I don't want to expose the real me.. the side that isn't always funny and Jolly, the side that is hurting and wanting someone to care. I'm not a fan of people who are constantly "poor me" people and I wonder if that’s what I'm afraid of becoming. I don't want to be other peoples burden, someone they feel they have to take care...I WANT TO BE STRONG!
Of course the scripture does say "He who is weak is strong.." and so that right there is my AHA
I'm weak.... I'm vulnerable... I'm just me.... and God LOVES me no matter what!
Next step: A conversation with God then we'll see where it goes from there!
Much love and God Bless to you all!!
P.S. Thank you for all your comments on my last post, it was a blessing from God that the post made it to the front page, it gave me an opportunity to read about other people who are struggling with the same issue! I think I've found my new Blog home! :0)
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Comments (5)
I am so with you on this. It seems like something is holding me back from letting my guard down, even with those I consider my friends.
I have a hard time letting people in when in a church setting, and feel extremely shy. I think that it's because I'm worried that I will be judged and found not good enough. In my work situation, I'm outgoing, friendly and have no trouble making small talk. That's my issue for caring what people think, I suppose. Great posts... thanks for sharing!
I am glad that you are writing about this, writing always helps me.
Way to search your soul! :D Realizing that you need to work on something is always a step in the right direction :) I too used to be really afraid to open up, mostly because I was afraid of what people would think of me, or that they wouldn't really care or weren't really sincere with me. I think it takes a lot of practice and a lot of guts. Try throwing yourself out there, just a little bit at a time at first, then more and more as it becomes easier. No, it's not easy at all and sometimes you cry :D but that's why it's a spiritual discipline.
Thanks for sharing!
It is so liberating to have one or two people you can open up to and be totally vulnerable, knowing that nothing you say or do will change their feelings toward you.
I also had a "vulnerability wall" that seemed it couldn't be penetrated from both sides ... no one could be let in, and I couldn't get out. What helped to change that for me was when a good friend found out that I went through a serious emotional incident and didn't tell him until after it was over. He said it actually hurt his feelings that I "sentenced myself" to go through it alone, even if all he could have done was pray for me.
Ever since then, the thought of hurting the feelings of a good friend seems to be worse than the pain of going through anything alone.